Whew! Today was rough – by far the hardest day yet. I felt well enough on Tuesday, the day after the infusion, but today was just plain hard, emotionally and physically. It was a chore just getting out of the bed, which I did not do much of!
We flew home from Boston yesterday after finishing infusion two. Like round one, this infusion was without complications or reaction. Best of all, only 9 vials of blood in a 24 hour period – last time it was 41. FOURTY. ONE. VIALS. Of my blood. Within 24 hours. I’ve had enough of needles for a few days, ya’ll.
I had a good meeting with my oncologist who said my organ functions look great, and I have two treatments to go before they scan me to monitor my progress. That will be mid-December, so I’m hoping the scans reveal tumor shrinkage or at least no growth.
As much as it is a hassle to fly to Boston and leave the girls every other week, our travel has really been seamless. No delays, no issues, and we love the staff at Mass General. My oncologist has a great sense of humor and loves college football, so we have developed a great rapport. My infusion nurse, Vanessa, is my age and already feels like a friend. The head clinical trial nurse is amazing and so accommodating. They are allowing me to get some pre-blood work done here in Starkville the Saturday’s before infusion which is a great help. I feel such a peace about this treatment, and just the way God worked it out for me to have this spot makes me feel so confident that we are in the right place.
The majority of the time, I feel really well and strong physically and emotionally. I can only attribute that the grace of God and the many prayers you’ve offered on our behalf. Honestly, your kindness and generosity is almost embarrassing it’s so overwhelming. Not a day goes by that we don’t get a check in the mail, a heartfelt card, a phone call with an encouraging word, a meal….it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and we are so humbled.
God is showing us His faithfulness in both the mundane and in the magnificent. I was driving to the grocery store last week, praying as I drove and just had a passing worry about finances. I was also thinking that it was hard to function and feed the family without a kitchen (We are remodeling our kitchen. Because, you know. Not much going on. ;). Anyway, within an hour, someone gave us a card full of cash and someone else called asking to bring us dinner. True story. I never spoke either concern out loud. He just took care of it. He hears and answers our fleeting thoughts. How crazy good is that?!
And He continues to take care of us in big, big ways. I still wake up every morning thankful that we got a spot in this trial. That my brain MRI was clear both times. That my tumor has not grown since early August. There are lots of magnificent, HUGE ways He has and is helping us.
Even today, as I struggled to put one foot in front of the other, my dad told me of several people who called him just to tell him that they are praying for me morning, noon and night. I can’t tell you what that does for me. Just to know people are taking the time to pray for us. To care. There are so many suffering, and everyone has their own struggles, so we are just completely humbled that you are taking time from your day to ask the Lord for my healing. We are eternally grateful. Please know that!
This journey is obviously not something I would have chosen to walk through. Many times I’ve cried out to God and asked Him to take this cup from me. If there was any other way for Him to accomplish His will besides THIS. But. I am learning through this process that He is faithful. He is good. He is constant. His love for us knows no bounds. I’ve always known and believed that God is good. That He loves us and is for us. But He is proving these things to me in a new, tangible way. Despite my circumstances, my prognosis, He is not any less good or any less in control. He is nearer than He’s ever been to me.
He knows all our days, and has a plan for each one of us. For whatever reason, this is part of His plan for me.I can trust that it's ultimately for my good!
Thank you for being a part of this journey with us. You will never, ever know how much your support, prayers and encouragement means.
Love,
Meredith
